Monday, February 2, 2009

Mercedes Jokes

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

Fancy a mercedes car....crazy about pens?


I dont know what to say about this. Mercedes E class classic pimp with pens!! Alot of pens!!!

Mercedes SLK


For the ladies. Sexy Red!!!!

Mercedes McLaren SL65 AMG



Just one word!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mercedes McLaren SL65 AMG

Mercedes e class


Article from here


Many offerings in the E-Class focus on sporty appeal, but the elegant-looking Mercedes' E-Class is geared more toward comfort. The car has received several enhancements and now has even more to offer. The E-Class exterior boasts clean lines and has a very appealing look. This car is often seen as a choice for mature buyers who aren’t looking for anything risky or exciting. The E-Class is definitely delivers a comfortable ride. Designers were eager to make a few enhancements and broaden the car’s appeal but not at the expense of comfort or refinement. They sharpened the car’s responses so that it provided a better driving experience. By the time the designers had finished, the E-Class boasted over 2,000 changes. The enhancements were mostly under the skin and to the interior. By looking at the E-Class’ exterior it is difficult to pinpoint any external changes with the exception of the car’s bumpers, headlamps, and some trimming. The car’s steering has been improved and suspension changes have produced a note worthy change for the better. The Mercedes E-Class is now more capable of satisfying the needs of enthusiastic drivers while still catering to comfort. The car is also much safer than before and gives buyers a choice of several engine options

Mercedes-Benz S-Class (2005-) Review


article from here

Where to begin? You don't need to read to the end of this test to realise how the new Mercedes-Benz S-class has moved the luxury-car goalposts. It does this not only with some ingenious and genuinely useful technology but also by being quieter and more cosseting than any of its rivals. Yet it's no floating, disconnected giant in which the driver plays but a bit-part: the grosser Mercedes is surprisingly agile and engaging to drive.

The previous S-class (W220 in Mercedes-speak) hardly seems old enough to be replaced, and has a kind of timeless beauty of a kind which Mercedes now seems to have abandoned. The new car (W221) is bigger, brasher, more imposing, and it features some revised engines plus a brand-new, 5.5-litre V8. One of the most visible bits of technology is the new Comand controller, clearly modelled on BMW's iDrive but much easier to use. You can even use it to adjust the shapes of the front seats via a 3-D pictogram on the display screen. Oh yes, and the sat-nav has a 20GB hard drive.

There's a new Brake Assist Plus function which uses two different frequencies of radar beams that also feed the improved Distronic Plus active cruise control. Not only does it warn you if you're travelling too close to the car in front, it also modulates the Brake Assist function so that instead of ramming the brakes on as hard as possible, it applies them only hard enough to prevent a collision thus reducing the likelihood of someone crashing into the back of you. The brake lights flash under heavy braking, too, and if the S-class's sensors detect an inevitable accident they activate an improved version of Pre-Safe, which now pumps up various parts of the seats to help cushion an impact as well as closing windows and setting the optimal seat positions.

Wrapping all the technology (there's more to come) is a body with an aerodynamic drag coefficient (Cd) of just 0.26, despite the upright front grille. The waistline has a convex curve beneath an equally curvaceous roofline, giving the S-class the look of a heftier, less graceful CLS. The bonnet, doors, boot and various underskin members are of aluminium, with much of the rest of the structure made from high-strength steels to make the result a little more rigid than before. The floor is stamped with irregular dimples, which not only makes the panels stronger but reduces their transmission of noise. Laminated side glass further helps in the quest for quietness.

Usual suspension fare is the Airmatic DC system with air-pressure springs and adaptive dampers, while Automatic Body Control (ABC) is standard on the S600 and optional on the others. Both systems have improved adaptability thanks to the inevitable higher computing power. Surprisingly, though, the brake-by-wire system pioneered on the SL and the E-class is absent, because it's harder to match it to the Brake Assist Plus function.

Mercedes SL500


Article from here


Classy, desirable and superbly refined 
– the Mercedes SL is the best-selling upmarket roadster of all-time. However, in terms of showroom success, the 
two-seater’s best days are behind it. Ever since sales peaked in 2003, they’ve been on a gentle decline. The 2006 facelift slowed the slide, but 
in order to get back on the rise, Mercedes has made some substantial changes.

However, is this really the new-generation model the firm claims? Sure, it now has a one-bar grille, SLR-style side vents and bonnet bulges, all of which add visual aggression. Yet step back and you’ll see the proportions have barely changed, least of all the height and wheelbase. The platform hasn’t been updated either. Radical it isn’t: in fact, we’d argue that the styling, although more modern, is less elegant than that of its predecessor.

That’s not to say the SL has gone downmarket. The roof mechanism remains a sight to behold: pull back the lever on the centre console and, as 11 hydraulic cylinders whirr into action, the three-part top artistically hides itself away with the minimum of fuss. In comparison, the Jag’s mechanism looks cheap and dated.

Overall, it seems Mercedes has spent far more on engineering than its rival. There’s the new Airscarf, overhauled COMAND system, seatbelts integrated into the seats and the fact that, even when the top is lowered, accessing the boot is easy, thanks to electric motors that raise the folded lid.

Don’t think the SL is flawless, though. A mesh wind deflector which distorts rear visibility really isn’t good enough on a £78,000 car, and the cabin design is disappointingly similar to before. The ergonomics are fine – the low-slung driving position is excellent – but the tacky silver trim is out of place. Neither does the button-heavy dash have the clarity and simplicity of the XKR’s layout.

When it comes to speed, though, the two cars are evenly matched. At 1,910kg, the SL carries an extra 195kg and, with 388bhp and 530Nm, it gives away 22bhp and 30Nm, yet this pair were separated by fractions of a second in all of our acceleration tests. The SL500’s 5.5-litre V8 doesn’t quite have the low-down urge of the Jaguar’s supercharged unit, but it’s smooth 
and refined. Combine this with a linear power delivery, and the Merc is deceptively fast, aided by the slick-shifting seven-speed gearbox.

Relaxed yet muscular, the V8 is extremely well suited to the SL. This is a roadster that’s able to play sporting or laid-back roles with ease. As a cruiser it excels on smooth roads, soaking up the miles. On more testing tarmac, although the body feels a fraction tauter than the outgoing SL’s, it’s not much quieter or stiffer than the Jaguar.

Chassis shudders are quickly absorbed, yet the glass-panelled roof reflects noise around the cabin rather than absorbing it, so there was little to choose between the two in our sound tests. 
Top-down, there’s no denying the Merc’s cockpit suffers from less buffeting, though.

Revisions to the suspension mean the SL is more nimble and precise than its predecessor. But although it’s pleasantly quick cross-country, the Merc isn’t a responsive sports car – it far 
prefers to take things easy and cruise along.

Despite the new face and minor improvements, Mercedes hasn’t tampered with the SL’s great recipe – but is the fresh model distinctive 
enough to attract new buyers to the brand?

Mercedes-Benz A-Class (05 on)


article from: here

Although the proposition for the new A-Class is much the same as that for the old model, offering the Mercedes-Benz buyer a compact yet roomy runabout with space for five, its execution is far more convincing. Where the old model was clearly compromised in terms of its material qualities, now the interior ambience is much closer to what you would expect of a baby Merc. It also drives in a far more mature manner feeling like a bigger car with a smooth, comfortable ride. This new model looks fit enough to be able to live up to expectations that its predecessor couldn't manage.